'HAND'LED WITH CARE

“It’s Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You...”
Rakim – I Know You Got Soul


Guess who’s bizzzack! Now let’s jump into this tale. ;o)



So I meet this young lady via the Internet one day. Initially I wasn’t particularly all that keen on meeting her. But she seemed cool online, so we exchanged digits. She lived somewhat in the neighborhood (actually she lived in the very same development – a building over – from the girl I got into the argument with about Jews, see: JEW-MUNJI story), so at a minimum I figured I could make a new friend with a home I could hide out at or at least add another source to the list of places a bachelor could get a hot meal. That shit does come in handy ya dig.

So one Sunday night I’m having dinner at Momma Serial’s house. Dinner ended at around 10 pm and I decided to head back to De Casa Serial. But then it hit me – the night was still pretty young, I was bored and I coulda went for a little female “companionship” to chase the good meal I had just partook in. I searched through my cellie looking for someone to connect with. But my entire starting five was AWOL. Even the reserves weren’t producing any results. So I had to resort to my pick up team. I called ole girl I had recently met on the Internet. Besides, she lived in the neighborhood – that meant convenience.

As I would’ve expected she was available (like there would actual have been a different outcome). I called her to see what was up.

Serial Dater: Hey whazzup. You busy? {like I really meant it}

Internet Girl (henceforth referred to as Ms. Tantra – explanations forthcoming): No I was just getting my son ready for bed.

Serial Dater: Well…I wanted to see you and I was wondering if you was up for some company. Maybe we could kick it…talk…have some drinks…what have you.

Ms. Tantra: Sure! That would be cool. I got a bottle of wine here I was waiting to break open with someone. But you could bring another if you like.

Serial Dater: Bet. I'll grab a bottle of wine and I’ll swing through.


She gave me her address and I was almost horrified to learn that she lived in the same apartment development as Brainy Chick. She was a part of my starting five and I was still currently boning her on occassion. I had to be careful with this one.

I arrived shortly after copping a bottle of wine. As fate would have it of course the two girls lived only a building apart. Damn Internet. I had to park the whip in a dark corner of the parking lot as not to be detected. I entered Ms. Tantra’s building preparing myself for what horror I might encounter. You see, I saw “a” picture of her, but that and a nickel will get you diddlysquat. Internet pictures are deceiving; especially when one is only dealing with a single photo to go on. While she looked cute in the photo I determined there was some “big bonededness” going on in the subtext of the picture. I was right.

She opened the door slowly and I got a chance to take her all in. For the most part she resembled her photo. She had long hair, stood around 5’7” and was pushin’ nearly two centuries in the poundage.

The lights were low and there were burning candles everywhere. I looked toward the coffee table and there were two empty wine glasses. Talk about getting your sexy on – whoa. I took a place on the love seat and she sat beside me. We chopped it up, got to know one another a lil better and polished off the first bottle of wine. I didn’t want to get too twisted in this strange environment, so I chilled with the wine after the first bottle was demolished. She kept her glass refreshed.

{Editor’s note: I’m always amazed at Internet liaisons. If I had a dolla for every first encounter I experienced over someone’s crib, I’d be Trump tight. Lucky for the ladies I’m no homicidal maniac. Well I do kill the punanie, but that’s another topic.}

As we sat talking on the couch, Ms. Tantra made a move.

Ms. Tantra: I have to say Serial; you have some very sexy lips. {Editors note: She probably meant ‘lip’. My top lip is almost non existent – lol}

Serial Dater: You think so huh?

Ms. Tantra: I know so. They are very sexy. Are they as kissable as they look?

Serial Dater: (Regretting this but saying it anyway) There’s only one-way to find out.


She leans over and plants one on the kid. I let her. Blame it on the wine.


Ms. Tantra: That was yummy. So tell me Serial…. do you like massages?

Serial Dater: No doubt. (especially the ones that involve a female’s mouth on my Mr. Happy)

Ms. Tantra: Have you ever had an erotic massage before?

Serial Dater: Can’t say that I have. Please explain.

Ms. Tantra: Well there’s a regular message and then there’s an erotic massage. The difference being an erotic massage involves baby oil and you taking off your clothes.

Serial Dater: Oh really.

Ms. Tantra: Would you like for me to give you a massage and if so, which type would you like – regular or erotic?

Serial Dater: (I’ll Bite) I’m going for the erotic one. With the baby oil!


With my selection, Ms. Tantra went into action. First she went to check on her little man to make sure he was well asleep in his room. I suppose she didn’t want lil junior to come out and witness mommy deep throating the nice man from the Internet. Then she got the baby oil, poured some into a plastic bowl and placed it into the microwave to heat it up. She then led me back to the bedroom where she put on some soft music. “Get relaxed and take your clothes off, I’ll be right back,” she said.

While the baby oil warmed, Ms. Tantra went to freshen up a bit. I could hear the shower water running in the background. I undressed down to my boxers and lay out on the bed. Moments later, Ms. Tantra comes in wearing some evening gown (a one piece kinda flowing satin night gown with just panties on underneath). In her hand she held the bowl of heated baby oil.

In the room there are more candles and the music is really setting the mood. She asks me to lie on my stomach and to loose the boxers. Me being me, I’m hella apprehensive. Mostly due to my fear of being brutally stabbed or anally violated. She convinces me that there is nothing to fear and that I would truly enjoy it. Why I don’t know, but I trust her. She straddles my back and pours the warm oil into her hand. She then begins to gently rub and knead my flesh like fresh dough. I feel the warm oil and it feels good to the touch.

From my neck to my calves, she repeats the process. She took some extra time on my buttocks, but I was far too relaxed to fret about it. Then she tells me to turn over. Starting at my shoulders this time, she rubs the warm oil in. She moves on to my chest, my abs and then onto the magic stick (lol). Main event time!

Once she gets to my ‘mini me’ that’s when things got really interesting. Once again she pours the warm oil into her hands and begins to stroke my dick until it’s fully erect. Now I’m no stranger to the art of self-pleasurization, but I have to say that in 35 years of practice I’ve never come close to produce the ecstatic feeling Ms. Tantra made my body feel. Her technique was impeccable and to this day unduplicated. She grabbed the base of my dick with one hand and with the other she did this stroke-cup-rub maneuver on the head of my penis and I almost passed out.

I tried to watch to see what she was doing but I couldn’t, my eyes kept rolling up in my head. I exaggerate not, this was one of the most incredible feelings I’ve ever experienced in my life. There was an art to what she was doing. I assumed it was something associated with Tantra. Talk about a ‘happy ending.’ If I could do what she did to me, myself I would never leave the house. I wouldn’t even date anymore.

Before I would loose control of all of my faculties and bust right in her hand. I grabbed her hand and stopped the action. I asked her to get a condom. She got one and placed it on for me. Then she bent over the bed and I proceeded to wax that azz (lol). She already had me to a point of near eruption anyway so the action didn’t last long. I was just trying to make sure she got something out of it. Cause that’s the type of dude that I am. ;o) After busting one of my longest nuts to-date. I got myself together, kissed her goodbye and bounced.

After that night, the starting five preoccupied a lot of my free time. And then eventually I cut the team down to one – Bronx Girl, who ended up moving in with me. So I never had a follow up outing with Ms. Tantra. However, I did see her again one-day months later. Bronx Girl and I were having breakfast at I-HOP and low and behold whom do I see there with a man – Ms. Tantra. I pointed her out to Bronx Girl and told her the story. She got a kick out of it.

Man I wish I could teach every girl I meet that Tantric baby oil hand job technique. The world would be a better place. ;o)