WHERE ARE THEY NOW? (Part Duex)
I decided to lead off with this one because it was fresh in my mind - Cheap Date Brawd (See: OH HELL-TO-THE-NAW).
While I may have been disappointed with her antics at Phillips, it wasn't the last time that I saw her. I like to keep some people around for rainy day purposes. She was one of those people. While we only had sex one other time (once over her house with her mom in the next room) we did remain in touch. I even helped her move from out of her momma's house into her first apartment. And anybody who really knows me will tell you how much I loathe moving or helping someone move. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'd spent the previous night partying with the Haitian Sensation. She lived closer to DC than me or else I would've had to drive all the way from Baltimore to help a chick move in another city. So while I was hung over from the night before, I only had a short distance to drive to do something that I hate.
After I helped her move, I kinda cut her back a whole lot. But then a couple of months down the road, I gave her a call and she wanted to see me again. So I went to her new spot for a visit. It would be the first time I saw the new spot since I helped her move there. The new apartment was also located in Southeast, DC, but in a much better (less crack infested) neighborhood. I came over and she cooked me dinner. We were chillin' on the couch when she decided to kick things off. I was half expecting to knock it down. But then something weird happened.
She pulled out “the slayer” (that's what I call my dick - just kidding) and began to kiss it about the head. Then she would put it in her mouth and take it out and then look it. She did this a couple of times and then stopped all together and laid her head in my lap next “the slayer.” I was like WTF! Why didn't she finish the job? Maybe my dick tasted funny (lol). Maybe it tasted like some girl's ass (LMAO). Go figure.
After the BJ tease we went to sleep in her bed. I remember it being hella hot up in that joint that night. I could've swore I opened my eyes at one point and saw the devil sitting in the corner with a portable fan. While she laid there sleep, I got up, rung out my sweat drenched t-shirt, got dressed and bounced. That was the last time that I saw or spoke to her.
Moving on…
Oh yes, the naughty intern (see: Office Politics). That intern and I had quite some summer. After that lil episode of beastin' in that back of my truck, we went hard with it. We literally had sex everyday for about three straight months (no kidding). I was wore the hell out. I mean even when she was on her period; she still came through and hit a nigga off somethin' lovely with a lil Lewinsky action. It was routine, but explosive every time. And a majority of the time she came over, she was tweeted off that chronic. Hell, chronic + youthful exuberance = very little inhibitions. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience with that youngin'. And to think, this was pre R. Kelly (lol).
By the time her internship was ending, we had slowed things down considerably. We began prepping for her return to Howard University. I was going to miss her, but I knew my dick needed a recovery period. She went back to school and we both promised to keep in touch. I kinda suck when it comes to ongoing communications with humans. I'm just so not a phone person. So we really weren't constantly in touch with one another. Then one day I got a frantic call from her. I could tell she was shook and something had happened. She stated she needed my help and would really appreciate it if I could come to DC to meet her (she didn't want to call her father or the authorities).
Not knowing what to expect, but figuring that something bad had happened, I grabbed my .22, hopped in the Pathfinder and blasted to DC. I met her at Union Train Station. She sat there at a bench with a suitcase like she was running away from home. She saw me and ran over to me to hug me. She began crying. I tried to console her and asked what had happened. After she got herself together, she told me a story about a HU football player, who had gotten out of line. To be more specific, she was the victim of an acquaintance rape. While the details of the rape itself were a little strange, I was still pissed nonetheless and demanded to know his name and what dorm he stayed in. I had something for that ass. We drove back to campus, but she refused to tell me his name or where he stayed. I even threatened her, but she wouldn't talk. Eventually, I relented and if she wasn't going to tell me what I needed to know, then I wasn't going to worry about it.
We ended up back at her dorm. (Interesting side bar: The dude Al a.k.a Hitz From The Streets of BET fame was on the yard seeing a little campus cutie he had stashed at Howard). She stayed in this apartment type set-up with three other girls. Two of the girls shared a room while the other two had individual rooms. When I went in the spot there was a group of guys and girls in the common area of the apartment. I think they were having some type of lil party or something. I went in the intern's room with her and closed the door. At that time I was about nine years removed from college. The intern said that I should make myself comfortable; she had to go drop off a paper and would be right back. I sat in her tiny dorm room watching TV. Then there came a knock on her bedroom door. Her roommates and their company wanted to know if I would be interested in joining their little party. One of the guys offered me some drank and some sticky. I declined both. I looked into the faces of the group of 19 to 21 year olds and thought to myself, “what the hell am I doing here?” While I didn't look the least bit 29 at the time, I sure felt like it.
The intern shortly returned. That night I spent the night in a college dorm room in that tiny ass twin bed. Despite Ms. Intern's body being the scene of a crime earlier that evening, we still had sex. I actually tried to talk her out of it because it made me feel yucky. But she insisted that she “needed” me in that way and wanted me to hold her afterwards {Side note: I swear, it don't matter how “cool” a chick starts out or how much they say they in control of their affairs, if she likes you, at some point she's going to catch feelings and that coolness she once had morphs into something else. Something that often times scares the absolute shit outta men}. The next morning I left and decided to take it easy and put some space between us (I'm talkin' more than the 50 miles that separated us physically). I felt drama in the air.
We didn't talk again for a minute. But then Thanksgiving rolled around and I thought about her. I knew she'd be in town for the holidays and so I gave her a holla. She seemed genuinely happy to hear from me and asked if she could come over to see me. Of course I said yes. She entered my apartment “weed scented” and took a seat on my leather couch. We sat beside each other rather awkwardly and made small talk. Noticing what was happening, she stood up, took my hand and said, “Come with me I wan to give you something.” She led me back to my bedroom and then proceeded to fuck that absolute shit out of me. After I buss, we lay in the bed and talked. This time with words (lol).
Serial Dater: Wow. That was something. I guess we missed each other huh.
Naughty Intern: Yeah you can say that. But I knew when I walked in the door that we were gonna fuck.
Serial Dater: Oh really. I'm glad that one of us knew {smiles}.
Naughty Intern: There's something I have to tell you. Something really important.
Serial Dater: No point in beating around the bush. Spit it out luv.
Naughty Intern: Well it's like this…{pauses}. I met somebody. I met a guy on campus and we kinda in a relationship. I really like this guy and wanna see where this is going to go. So this will be the last time that we see each other. I hope you're not mad and you understand.
Serial Dater: I totally understand. And I'm glad you were up front with me. I wish you and this new dude much success. I'm gonna miss you.
Naughty Intern: I'm gonna miss you too {long passionate kiss goodbye}.
After that day, I never saw or talked to her again. She did change her major at Howard to Journalism / Public Relations. She even took my advice and wrote for the school newspaper, The Hilltop. I used to follow her work. She was a pretty decent writer. I've always wondered what became of her. I wondered if she ever got married. She was one of the ones I missed having on the team.
Next Up….
The Mr. Marcus groupie (see: Overnight Scenario). I would love to say that this nut ball was a one and done, but I actually did talk to her again and I saw her one last time. One day, I had a special event I was coordinating in her neck of the woods in Silver Spring. It was a ribbon cutting ceremony or a groundbreaking I believe. So I got to the area early and went over to her apartment for a cup of coffee. We talked for a while and then I bounced to my event. Though, I wouldn't consider us as having any sort of chemistry, she did put an offer on the table for me to move in with her, so that she could take care of me. I declined and that was the last I would see of her. I also stopped taking her calls. Oh those crazy Deltas (lol).
“Touch me in a dark place”, “Freestyle Friday”, “Home Cumming” and “Non-Ford Escort” where all One & Dones. ;o)
The woman from the “Family Outing” story actually stumbled onto the story I wrote about her (I believe). A couple days after I posted that story, I got a very cryptic phone call from her (I only recently erased it). It went something like this:
Family Outing Chick: Hey Serial, this is blah-say-blah. What's up ole buddy? I haven't heard from you. Hey “buddy” what's up with a spades game!? Call me.
Her overall tone had a slight tinge of piss-tivity in it. So I never called her back. She was a wrap.
But let me add this. The incident with the bringing of the daughter on the date didn't do her in. I have a short memory and I'm a very forgiving person (just ask the bitch that keyed my whip - but that's another story). What did her in was my birthday. Here we go again with that birthday shit. While I don't celebrate my Born Day, I get kinda moody around that time. So, she calls me and finds out that it's my birthday. I didn't ask her to do anything, but she offers to do something. She offers to take me out to dinner - her treat. Whoa.
She asks me where I'd like to eat and what time I'd be available. I informed her that I was going to the athletic club and that we could get together afterwards that Saturday. As far as where to eat, I was trying to being affordable and was leaning towards Olive Garden. I hadn't been there in a while, so I suggested it. She was like, I'm not really feeling Olive Garden; I'd prefer to have Mexican. I heard about this nice Mexican restaurant I want to try. Wait a minute! I thought it was my fuckin' Birthday and my choice. Who gives a shit about what she felt like eating. I don't really care for Mexican and furthermore what was the point of asking me, if she was only going to decide for me. Eventually, we came to some sort of agreement and I went to the gym to workout. Rest assured it wasn't gonna be Mexican eatin'.
When I finished working out, I called her from the gym and left a message. I went home showered got dressed and called her again. I waited until some hours had passed and then I called one last time. It was official, I had been stood up. So I called the next brawd and made alternate plans. The next day, I get a call from Family Outing Chick with a half assed apology. She actually admitted that a girlfriend called her and they went to Floods Bar & Grille. But I thought we had a date and she was taking me out for my birthday. She said that she wasn't clear on the game plan, so she went to Floods instead. Whatevah. I bet she didn't take her daughter on that outing. Needless to say, I instantaneously deleted her number from my phone.
Stay tuned for more updates. ;o)
While I may have been disappointed with her antics at Phillips, it wasn't the last time that I saw her. I like to keep some people around for rainy day purposes. She was one of those people. While we only had sex one other time (once over her house with her mom in the next room) we did remain in touch. I even helped her move from out of her momma's house into her first apartment. And anybody who really knows me will tell you how much I loathe moving or helping someone move. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'd spent the previous night partying with the Haitian Sensation. She lived closer to DC than me or else I would've had to drive all the way from Baltimore to help a chick move in another city. So while I was hung over from the night before, I only had a short distance to drive to do something that I hate.
After I helped her move, I kinda cut her back a whole lot. But then a couple of months down the road, I gave her a call and she wanted to see me again. So I went to her new spot for a visit. It would be the first time I saw the new spot since I helped her move there. The new apartment was also located in Southeast, DC, but in a much better (less crack infested) neighborhood. I came over and she cooked me dinner. We were chillin' on the couch when she decided to kick things off. I was half expecting to knock it down. But then something weird happened.
She pulled out “the slayer” (that's what I call my dick - just kidding) and began to kiss it about the head. Then she would put it in her mouth and take it out and then look it. She did this a couple of times and then stopped all together and laid her head in my lap next “the slayer.” I was like WTF! Why didn't she finish the job? Maybe my dick tasted funny (lol). Maybe it tasted like some girl's ass (LMAO). Go figure.
After the BJ tease we went to sleep in her bed. I remember it being hella hot up in that joint that night. I could've swore I opened my eyes at one point and saw the devil sitting in the corner with a portable fan. While she laid there sleep, I got up, rung out my sweat drenched t-shirt, got dressed and bounced. That was the last time that I saw or spoke to her.
Moving on…
Oh yes, the naughty intern (see: Office Politics). That intern and I had quite some summer. After that lil episode of beastin' in that back of my truck, we went hard with it. We literally had sex everyday for about three straight months (no kidding). I was wore the hell out. I mean even when she was on her period; she still came through and hit a nigga off somethin' lovely with a lil Lewinsky action. It was routine, but explosive every time. And a majority of the time she came over, she was tweeted off that chronic. Hell, chronic + youthful exuberance = very little inhibitions. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience with that youngin'. And to think, this was pre R. Kelly (lol).
By the time her internship was ending, we had slowed things down considerably. We began prepping for her return to Howard University. I was going to miss her, but I knew my dick needed a recovery period. She went back to school and we both promised to keep in touch. I kinda suck when it comes to ongoing communications with humans. I'm just so not a phone person. So we really weren't constantly in touch with one another. Then one day I got a frantic call from her. I could tell she was shook and something had happened. She stated she needed my help and would really appreciate it if I could come to DC to meet her (she didn't want to call her father or the authorities).
Not knowing what to expect, but figuring that something bad had happened, I grabbed my .22, hopped in the Pathfinder and blasted to DC. I met her at Union Train Station. She sat there at a bench with a suitcase like she was running away from home. She saw me and ran over to me to hug me. She began crying. I tried to console her and asked what had happened. After she got herself together, she told me a story about a HU football player, who had gotten out of line. To be more specific, she was the victim of an acquaintance rape. While the details of the rape itself were a little strange, I was still pissed nonetheless and demanded to know his name and what dorm he stayed in. I had something for that ass. We drove back to campus, but she refused to tell me his name or where he stayed. I even threatened her, but she wouldn't talk. Eventually, I relented and if she wasn't going to tell me what I needed to know, then I wasn't going to worry about it.
We ended up back at her dorm. (Interesting side bar: The dude Al a.k.a Hitz From The Streets of BET fame was on the yard seeing a little campus cutie he had stashed at Howard). She stayed in this apartment type set-up with three other girls. Two of the girls shared a room while the other two had individual rooms. When I went in the spot there was a group of guys and girls in the common area of the apartment. I think they were having some type of lil party or something. I went in the intern's room with her and closed the door. At that time I was about nine years removed from college. The intern said that I should make myself comfortable; she had to go drop off a paper and would be right back. I sat in her tiny dorm room watching TV. Then there came a knock on her bedroom door. Her roommates and their company wanted to know if I would be interested in joining their little party. One of the guys offered me some drank and some sticky. I declined both. I looked into the faces of the group of 19 to 21 year olds and thought to myself, “what the hell am I doing here?” While I didn't look the least bit 29 at the time, I sure felt like it.
The intern shortly returned. That night I spent the night in a college dorm room in that tiny ass twin bed. Despite Ms. Intern's body being the scene of a crime earlier that evening, we still had sex. I actually tried to talk her out of it because it made me feel yucky. But she insisted that she “needed” me in that way and wanted me to hold her afterwards {Side note: I swear, it don't matter how “cool” a chick starts out or how much they say they in control of their affairs, if she likes you, at some point she's going to catch feelings and that coolness she once had morphs into something else. Something that often times scares the absolute shit outta men}. The next morning I left and decided to take it easy and put some space between us (I'm talkin' more than the 50 miles that separated us physically). I felt drama in the air.
We didn't talk again for a minute. But then Thanksgiving rolled around and I thought about her. I knew she'd be in town for the holidays and so I gave her a holla. She seemed genuinely happy to hear from me and asked if she could come over to see me. Of course I said yes. She entered my apartment “weed scented” and took a seat on my leather couch. We sat beside each other rather awkwardly and made small talk. Noticing what was happening, she stood up, took my hand and said, “Come with me I wan to give you something.” She led me back to my bedroom and then proceeded to fuck that absolute shit out of me. After I buss, we lay in the bed and talked. This time with words (lol).
Serial Dater: Wow. That was something. I guess we missed each other huh.
Naughty Intern: Yeah you can say that. But I knew when I walked in the door that we were gonna fuck.
Serial Dater: Oh really. I'm glad that one of us knew {smiles}.
Naughty Intern: There's something I have to tell you. Something really important.
Serial Dater: No point in beating around the bush. Spit it out luv.
Naughty Intern: Well it's like this…{pauses}. I met somebody. I met a guy on campus and we kinda in a relationship. I really like this guy and wanna see where this is going to go. So this will be the last time that we see each other. I hope you're not mad and you understand.
Serial Dater: I totally understand. And I'm glad you were up front with me. I wish you and this new dude much success. I'm gonna miss you.
Naughty Intern: I'm gonna miss you too {long passionate kiss goodbye}.
After that day, I never saw or talked to her again. She did change her major at Howard to Journalism / Public Relations. She even took my advice and wrote for the school newspaper, The Hilltop. I used to follow her work. She was a pretty decent writer. I've always wondered what became of her. I wondered if she ever got married. She was one of the ones I missed having on the team.
Next Up….
The Mr. Marcus groupie (see: Overnight Scenario). I would love to say that this nut ball was a one and done, but I actually did talk to her again and I saw her one last time. One day, I had a special event I was coordinating in her neck of the woods in Silver Spring. It was a ribbon cutting ceremony or a groundbreaking I believe. So I got to the area early and went over to her apartment for a cup of coffee. We talked for a while and then I bounced to my event. Though, I wouldn't consider us as having any sort of chemistry, she did put an offer on the table for me to move in with her, so that she could take care of me. I declined and that was the last I would see of her. I also stopped taking her calls. Oh those crazy Deltas (lol).
“Touch me in a dark place”, “Freestyle Friday”, “Home Cumming” and “Non-Ford Escort” where all One & Dones. ;o)
The woman from the “Family Outing” story actually stumbled onto the story I wrote about her (I believe). A couple days after I posted that story, I got a very cryptic phone call from her (I only recently erased it). It went something like this:
Family Outing Chick: Hey Serial, this is blah-say-blah. What's up ole buddy? I haven't heard from you. Hey “buddy” what's up with a spades game!? Call me.
Her overall tone had a slight tinge of piss-tivity in it. So I never called her back. She was a wrap.
But let me add this. The incident with the bringing of the daughter on the date didn't do her in. I have a short memory and I'm a very forgiving person (just ask the bitch that keyed my whip - but that's another story). What did her in was my birthday. Here we go again with that birthday shit. While I don't celebrate my Born Day, I get kinda moody around that time. So, she calls me and finds out that it's my birthday. I didn't ask her to do anything, but she offers to do something. She offers to take me out to dinner - her treat. Whoa.
She asks me where I'd like to eat and what time I'd be available. I informed her that I was going to the athletic club and that we could get together afterwards that Saturday. As far as where to eat, I was trying to being affordable and was leaning towards Olive Garden. I hadn't been there in a while, so I suggested it. She was like, I'm not really feeling Olive Garden; I'd prefer to have Mexican. I heard about this nice Mexican restaurant I want to try. Wait a minute! I thought it was my fuckin' Birthday and my choice. Who gives a shit about what she felt like eating. I don't really care for Mexican and furthermore what was the point of asking me, if she was only going to decide for me. Eventually, we came to some sort of agreement and I went to the gym to workout. Rest assured it wasn't gonna be Mexican eatin'.
When I finished working out, I called her from the gym and left a message. I went home showered got dressed and called her again. I waited until some hours had passed and then I called one last time. It was official, I had been stood up. So I called the next brawd and made alternate plans. The next day, I get a call from Family Outing Chick with a half assed apology. She actually admitted that a girlfriend called her and they went to Floods Bar & Grille. But I thought we had a date and she was taking me out for my birthday. She said that she wasn't clear on the game plan, so she went to Floods instead. Whatevah. I bet she didn't take her daughter on that outing. Needless to say, I instantaneously deleted her number from my phone.
Stay tuned for more updates. ;o)
posted by The_Practitioner | 11:11 AM
23 Comments:
outta curiosity serial...why don't you write stories about your Michigan?
'nother question...what the hell WAS she looking for on "the slayer"? LOL
Happy New Year Serial.
I got about 4 Michigan stories posted with more to come in the future. Most of my dating occured on the east coast. I've toned it down considerably since moving to the Great Lakes state. ;o)
I don't know what was up with that in-depth analysis of the slayer. Strange. lol
Even though most of your dating was on the east coast I'd love to hear your comparisons between the women in Michigan and the women on the east coast.
I'm looking forward to the Michigan stories.
I am SO disturbed by the whole having sex after being raped scenario....how can this make you feel better?
And Hits has a leading role in a new movie...who would have thunk it?
LOL man, you have those kind of stories that make me say to myself THANK GOD for being single and celibate and, well other things!
LOL
keep the stories coming ... they are great lessons of what not to do and accept, TRUST!
I'm with mwabi. That is just gross and reminds me of that heffa that was with Kobe ... the one with all the different DNA in her drawers.
SD,
1. I've never heard the phrase "One & Done" - but I like that
2. Re: "Side note: I swear, it don't matter how “cool” a chick starts out or how much they say they in control of their affairs, if she likes you, at some point she's going to catch feelings and that coolness she once had morphs into something else. Something that often times scares the absolute shit outta men"
It's the same for dudes - even if y'all will never admit it
The Mad Dater,
"Because there's a Bastard in all of us"
I'm with Mad Dater on this one. I haven't met the one that didn't catch feelings.
The Michigan shit won't top this shit. Broads around here are silly and mad self-important. They're not that open to a good time. But every now and then...
KZ
Okay, lemme shed some additional light on that intern situation since that one caught the most attention. The chick in that story, while mad young, is pretty bright. To this day, she's still smarter than some women i know who are twice her age. I was always on the fence about the rape thing. While I came prepared, I wasn't going to do a damn thing with out evidence and a good enough reason. Shit was mostly for show. What i think happened (my amatuer analysis) was that some dude shunned her or dissed her and she needed to see a familiar face that knew how to make her feel like a woman. Or maybe it was just that she was starving for my attention. Like I said in the story, some of the rape details were extremely suspect once I heard them (but I won't get into that here).
And if i ever met a woman that was cool throughout the duration of knowing me...I'd be married to her right now. I ruin women. Cool chicks turn into - awe forget it. ;o)
Zed, Women in Michigan be on some shit. Fo real doe. lol
I like your blog, man...It was some good reading.
Peace.
I'm a serial dater too.
@mwabi+chele-The sex after rape situation may sound bizarre and gross, but you have to understand, rape is not sex, its a violent dehumanizing crime to the body, whether you know the perp(s) or not...if your next-door neighbor beats you with a pipe, its still an assault even if you know the neighbor. After a violent crime, many people want to be held and comforted. After a violent crime to one's body (rape, sodomy, beating, mugging), the party may need to feel human again...maybe not sex, necessarily. But they will need something to piece it all back together after the experience of being violated.
@Serial+Insane-On the other hand, from an (innocent) man's point of view, I agree, if you come too close behind a rape (pun intended) your DNA may become part of a crime scene should the sister decide to go to the cops. Next time,(God Forbid) hold her gently and encourage her to go to the police, or at the very least health services, for her safety as well as your own.
Okay people. Please point out one of these stories where your flavor-rite dater is not packing the plastic. I stay straped like Chi Ali.
TNA will not equate to me giving up DNA. Unless you talking about the occassion when a liaison is "gargling babies." lol
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
re: cheap date brawd - she was prolly thinkin "dis taste like chicken!!" and remembered she was a vegan.
re: naughty intern - why did she have a suitcase and wtf was in it? and why did she have a paper to turn in all of a sudden? i thought she was distraught from being raped. is ole gurl schizo or what?
sounds like you were really feelin her though...run 50+ miles AND packin with shady details from one phone call (LOL). she had you wide open! prolly told her friends she had an older man and they didn't believe her, then placed a bet that she could get you there before the night was over. the young diva gets my respect! you gave her cool points, street cred, and good sex all in one night.
luv the stories though.
I agree with the comments on the Michigan stories ;-)
LOL @ "the slayer"
I'm soooooooo glad to hear you stay straped like Chi Ali. Keep it that way honey!
LOL@gargling babies...
...Dont you watch CSI? Pubic hair and thigh skin have DNA as well :-o
But I am with the others, Im glad you strap it up before you wrap it up...Something like that old Dial commercial,
"Arent you glad you used Durex...Dontcha wish everybody did?" LOL
o.k...those were some interesting stories...I only wish my dating life as interesting as yours.
@ Serial...Laugh my Yella Ass Off @ TNA will not equate to me giving up DNA. Unless you talking about the occassion when a liaison is "gargling babies."
Serial-Now I'm personally offended by you making that lil remark about the Deltas...... Now you are on my shit list..
Ok, being a woman from MI, we be on that ish? Ok I can believe some of us do but to say all of us? Come on now. I think that you just slowed down.
Good stories. Do you still go to Flood's...cause if you do I'ma be looking for a short light skinded dude. LOL
Oh Ms. Serenity - simma down. lol
I meant that comment as a term of endearment. As oh you so crazy. ;o)
I luv the Deltas (literally). I've defiled a few in the past...which reminds me of a story. ha ha
Beside, you need to check my past stories, the Zetas have gotten it much worst.
SD
I love your stories. You are something else. I've been lurking here for a while...tryna see what stories you had from Michigan. Hoping I didn't recognize anyone (me). LOL
Hmm I dunno for sure if I know "Office Politics" or not but I wouldn't be surprised...that sounds like a Howard girl. LOL And good lord man how do you find the time to maintain a job with all of this tom foolery goin' on? LOL
Post a Comment
<< Home